It’s kind of funny now that I look back at the events that brought me to rehab and to a sober life I now thank my Higher Power for.
Before I would have been horrified to find out that my personal business was being watched, scrutinized and studied. Or just be out there for all to see.
But now I’m starting to see that my story might help someone else in need. While in rehab, we had several speakers come and share their stories of how they had become addicted and how they overcame it. One lady in particular was able to tell her story in a humorous way. I connected to her immediately. She made me see that we all have a story that has brought us to AA/NA and that we need not be ashamed of having the disease of addiction. So why should my story be any different?? It’s not! I’m not perfect, I have many flaws, however I’ve always held myself to a level so high, sometimes I couldn’t reach it, but maybe, just maybe, if I share my story, I’ll find the relief from carrying all this baggage I tend to hold on to and in the process, hope that my story will touch or inspire someone that may have the same issues with life and addiction.
There are many people that have had a worse go at life than I have and they are thriving in their sobriety and are sharing their story without fear of judgement. So little by little I will disclose my deepest secrets here for all to know me and where I came from, and also where I’m going.
This all started with a “virus” in my home -(remember I mentioned earlier that I’ve had a psychotic break). I had been watching my husbands on line use and saw that he was spending more and more time on his iPad – so I started snooping, which lead me to the laptop – where I found that I wasn’t in control of my computer. I messed with some settings on the laptop using the “super user” sign in – and the ONLY thing that went berserk was my husbands iPad. I then started following the trail of bread crumbs and it all lead me back to my husbands sign in info (I even said to a flashing virus screen that yes I wanted the virus, and it took me to a sign in page with our address as the user) that’s when hubby got really mad saying that he was innocent of all this virus business. The next thing I know I’m being kicked out of my house to be sent to the ER by my husband and daughter. There I was treated as an insane person and was told that all I had found out was a halusination – but I’m still seeing things in my house that point me right back to being watched and tested daily.
I know this may seem crazy to some but hopefully those who feel that way won’t judge me too harshly – and if they do, I won’t care because this is my story to tell.