It seems like it doesn’t matter how mad I get at my husband, I can’t stay mad at him for very long. I think it has to do with my forgiving nature. I don’t have the time or the energy to hold a grudge for very long. I’m naturally a happy person. There have been times when I have been upset with someone, gotten it off my chest and then forgotten all about it until the person tells me they are still hurt or upset about what I’ve said to them. It surprises me to find out that they are still thinking about what went down. It usually pisses them off more that I haven’t wasted any time at all on them and their issues.
I bring this up only because 2 days ago I was super pissed off at hubby and ready to throw in the towel and be done with him, but last night I needed a good cuddle and turned to the one person who knows me better than I know myself. Those are the perks of being in a 28 year old relationship. It felt so good to be in his arms and fall asleep next to him. I doubt he will ever know just how much he means to me. I doubt he’ll ever know how much I need him. He spoils me rotten, and even with all the cheating and lying I’ve done, he’s taken me back time after time. I feel better for having gone to rehab. I didn’t even know I needed rehab until I was locked away. There were so many things that went on before I left. I was getting messages from the TV and from the people around me. Hubby thought I was hallucinating, but these things were real. I know that hubby did some unimaginable things to me so that I would get some help, but he will never admit to them, so like the Serenity prayer teaches us, we will accept the things we can not change, and like rehab has taught us, we will only look forward taking one day at a time and leave the past in the past.